When Penny Sadownick, my mother, now 93, lit the Chanukah candles, the focus was on flickering light. This was Bronx, Grand Course, the 1970s, a huge high rise, a little bit better than a Project. Even though Penny fought with her husband Lenny over money, as they could not shake the Depression-Era karma of feeling trapped by class, and she grumbled about his drinking to my Aunt (tanta) Helen, Chanukah was a time for light and fun. We lit the candles for eight nights and received modest presents, Chanukah "gelt" (money), chocolate, and spinning the dreidel. Cousins poured in. So did friends, surrounded by so many people. The clan. Not one of those somber holidays like the New Year.
We didn't focus too much on the fact that the holiday is associated with war, anti-Jewish sentiment, religious extremism, commemorating the recovery of Jerusalem and subsequent rededication of the Second Temple at the beginning of the Maccabean Revolt against the Seleucid Empire in the 2nd century BCE. They tried to teach us that in Hebrew School, but my mother did not want us to learn anything too political, just our Hebrew. Thank you, ma'am.
Speaking of LIGHT, one of the GREA friends I met in Israel before October 7 is Avigail Sperber. She is a lesbian, a religious person, a social activist, and one of the most esteemed filmmakers in Israel.
She is a person of the LIGHT. Check out her feed; she is doing so much good work in Israel!
She just wrote this letter in regards to how Jewish religious extremists in Israel are exploiting the holiday to cause trouble.
I share this letter with you so we keep the light of freedom in dark seasons.
I wish you all a Chag Sameach and much light.
--
"Minister Nir Barkat Shalom and blessing,
My name is Abigail Shferber, and I am very, very worried about the Maccabees parade that the extremists are organizing today in Jerusalem.
As the former mayor of Jerusalem, who like you understands that the delicate texture in Jerusalem can damage such a parade, and can develop into a tragic event with many injured.
I ask and beg you to do everything you can to stop this march, which has no good intentions but intentions to incite violence
With a blessing
Abigail Sheferber"
Nir Barkat - ניר ברקת
—
In therapy, or rather in psychoanalysis, we have two positions on the dialectic. One is Mrs. Melanie Klein (1882 –1960), who teaches us how to address the sadism, greed, retaliation, and envy in the adult baby’s psyche, and sometimes that takes healthy aggression on the part of the analyst.
Or we have Heinz Kohut (1913-1981, who moves away from the Freudian model to honor the ideas of the SELF, and the way towards self-cohesion is through empathic regard. Empathy is not sympathy. Empathy means stepping out of your own mental box to regard a person for who and what they are.
The situation isn’t simple, but the hope is that the analyst’s mind will be well enough that he will forgive himself (themself) for his errors and the client’s and will hold his shit enough together to make reparation.
Reparation is the light.
Chag Sameach